I woke every Saturday at the crack of dawn and longboarded down to the coffeeshop to open up. I had a column in the local paper. Everywhere I went, I sang to myself, “I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T…do you know what that means?” I had my own apartment. I had my own job. My gang of friends only a … Continue reading Why I Left Florida
What I Need to Say About My Mixed-Race Identity
“Most mixed-race people associate with one race over the other.” The first time I heard this, my mind jumped to every mixed-race person I knew. Specifically, half-white, half-something-else people. Barack Obama. Henry Golding. Jo Koy. Yes, I suppose I can name ‘one race’ for each person even though they are mixed. Obama is the first … Continue reading What I Need to Say About My Mixed-Race Identity
What Living in England Taught Me
“If you want to show your English friends that you’re trying to embrace the culture, here’s what you do…” The speaker at international students’ orientation pauses for dramatic effect. We lean forward and she says: “Have a drink in your hand.” When I moved to England, I wanted to acclimate to the culture. Looking back, … Continue reading What Living in England Taught Me
Why God Lets Me Feel Lonely
If on a lazy Sunday afternoon, you happen to be at a wine cellar in suburban Florida, sharing a cheese platter with your friends on the open-air patio, you may see a twentysomething girl hunkered in the corner by herself, slurping on bottomless mimosas and scribbling things down in her OfficeMax notebook. Psst…that’s me. For … Continue reading Why God Lets Me Feel Lonely
Why ‘F*ck Everything” is Not Very Christian
I look up from my phone and smoke puffs out of my nostrils. Oh. No. He. Did. Not. I’m like, what is this feeling, so sudden and new? Ah. Anger. I feel anger. I won’t say why. Let’s just say something very unfair happened. I pocket my phone and gun the engine. Then I take … Continue reading Why ‘F*ck Everything” is Not Very Christian
Why I Can’t Be By Myself
I’m at a pizza place by myself, sweating through my coffeeshop T-shirt and chewing on a slice of pepperoni. As I scroll through the contacts on my phone, my fingers leave greasy smudges on the screen. I call the leasing office at my apartment complex and, when a lady answers, I say: “Hi. So, erm, … Continue reading Why I Can’t Be By Myself
Jesus and the Single Girl
She’s wearing a ring. I just met her today at the coffeeshop and now we’re splitting Ben & Jerry’s in the Walmart parking lot. The Florida sun wages warfare on our shoulders. I point my plastic spoon at her wedding ring and say: “How do you do it?” “What do you mean?” she says. “How … Continue reading Jesus and the Single Girl
What I Long For the Most
“Rachel, are you joining?” A woman at church points to a stack of paperbacks in her Amazon Prime box. I stare. Open my mouth. Close my mouth. “The women’s Bible study?” she adds. Oh. Bible, good. Women, good. Studying together, good. “Yes,” I say. She hands me a copy of the study book. I examine … Continue reading What I Long For the Most
